I exaggerate, I exaggerate. But after spending a week here I really do wish I could just pick everything up and relocate. Even the cold weather doesn’t put me off. Anyone who knows me well, knows that me and my pale skin loooove the cold and any excuse to snuggle up in a thousand layers, eat lots of food and drink lots of coffee. The things we do to stay warm, right? It’s just survival.
But seriously, after making the conscious (albeit regrettable) decision not to travel over the Christmas holiday, I got to April before I called it. I thought that was a pretty good effort. And I only went a little bit mad.*
There is another reason that sparked the trip: a newly acquired travel companion. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I have found the equal match to my coffee, food and travel addiction. Call him my partner in crime, the mascarpone to my hotcakes, or the mac n cheese to my burger (yes that’s a thing), the idea of a week exploring one of my favourite cities without work or uni or any other distractions with him was a no-brainer. And after being spoiled on the first night by a surprise dinner to Shannon Bennett’s Bistro Vue I knew I had made the right choice. Delicious drinks, phenomenal food. He even let me get the famous warm chocolate orange mousse for dessert. Google it. I still haven’t stopped smiling.
What followed was four days of non-stop eating. I’m going to be completely honest with you, the holiday was so relaxing my memory is somewhat of a blur, and I am not even going to pretend that the following list was completed in order. Nevertheless I am going to provide some insight into the weird and wonderful ways my brain remembers things.
He almost swept me off my feet when he suddenly whisked me off the main road down the small alley that leads to an inconspicuous and unsigned door that is Patricia’s. So #melbourne. Had it not been for the line of people gathering in the alley, I would not have believed what lay behind the door. A standing coffee bar who means business.
Duke’s Coffee Roasters
One of my favourites, I couldn’t wait to show him. Oh the lights, the timber, the mosaic tiles, two coffee machines. Its fair to say I am in my element when a place nails the design as well as the coffee. Yeah, I will stay here for a while, thanks.
I have eaten here before but this time we stumbled upon Industry Beans on a food-dazed coma/trance following a feast at Easey’s so the thought of eating again was just not on the table. Watching the boys roast beans out the back while enjoying an aeropress did give him the chance to talk coffee which always impresses me, and from memory at this point I just sunk into a deep blissful state of serenity. FYI, I haven’t stopped smiling yet.
Speaking of Easey’s, all I am going to say is: tram carriages…on a roof top…burgers…with mac n cheese…and chicken…and bacon…and beer. Shut the front door. The only thing more #Melbourne is posing ‘candidly’ in front of graffiti. But so good. Oh so good.
Anyone who knows me well will know that I have the weirdest and strongest food cravings that can hit anytime and anywhere. He is particularly good at identifying these cravings and locating the quickest and best place to satisfy them, probably more for his sake than mine. But how perfect is waking up craving pancakes and promptly being taken to Proud Mary to find that the night before they changed their menu to include Ricotta Hotcakes with honeycomb, cardamon sour cream, butterscotch sauce, half poached pear and chocolate crumble. Maybe a little too perfect. Probably planned. Definitely planned. By someone who knows me too well.
Rice Paper Scissors
Cocktails at lunch are a requisite here and it doesn’t take me too much convincing. Five dishes for $59, asian-fusion tapas. Consider me sold. Beef rendang with roti, chargrilled wagyu beef, soft shell crab banh mi, lime cured kingfish ceviche, and mekong whiskey marinated lamb ribs. If you need more convincing then there is something wrong with you.
Eau de Vie
Obviously with all this eating you need to throw in a few drinks to wash it all down and where better to go than the best: Eau de Vie. Located a hop, skip and a jump away from our AirBnb, between the garbage bin and the carpark entrance is an unassuming black door that leads to a dimly-lit whisky wonderland. Here cocktails are nothing less than a work of art. The Smokey Rob Roy: a mix of single malt whiskies, cigar infused Zacapa rum, vermouth and orange bitters served under a cloud of wood smoke. The Pop Corn Flip: salted popcorn infused cognac paired with curaçao and white chocolate and served with a popcorn basket on the side. And don’t forget the 1984 nip of whisky for $420. Yes.
The Kettle Black
Now sit back and think of every cafe you have been to in the last 6 months. You can bet your bottom dollar that every single one of them is trying to be like The Kettle Black. Or at least they should be. The coconut-soaked chia with fresh fruit, dehydrated mandarin and maple syrup is too much goodness to handle. I almost lost my place in the Clean Plate Club but alas, he helped me. What are baes for. Ladies, ammiiritttee?? He had chilli scramble with goats cheese and cured wallaby, and yes, he finished his and then helped me with mine. We spent the next hour or so ambling around the streets of Melbourne walking off a mother of a food hangover, but so so worth it.
Home of barista champions and the most delicious salted caramel and sea salt chocolate biscuit sandwich that we scored for free after he did some smooth talking, St Ali is good enough to give you heart palpitations. He got the potato hash for maybe the third time this trip? And I ventured out and got chilli scramble with merguez spicy lamb sausage. After 17 or so coffees on this trip, I decided to skip it this time so he made up for it and got three.
Tall Timber Eatery
One of our final stops *sad face*, buttt we got to see the Block! He saw it first and presumably instantly regretted it when I started screaming and trying to take a selfie with it. Tall Timber had a lot of hype and breakfast was good, but the best part was getting to see the lovely Sarah again, a friend of his who I have adopted as my own. That and having him alter my latte art of a heart to boobs. That was good too.
It wasn’t all eating and drinking though. We managed to find time to visit some awesome places like the National Gallery of Victoria to see the Andy Warhol – Ai Weiwei exhibition (which was incredible) and the Queen Victoria Markets where we bought fresh pasta and vegetables to make for dinner. Also, and arguably most importantly, we spent a lot of time getting me hooked on Game of Thrones before the sixth season comes out. I think I have 47 hours left to watch and about 72 hours in which to do it.
All in all it was an amazing and totally refreshing trip. Only complaint was that my face started hurting by the fifth day from smiling too much. Can’t win them all though I guess.
Until next time,